By Any Other Name

Friday, February 8, 20085:26:00 PM EST Feeling Happy Hearing Best of Neil Diamond Edit Entry Delete Entry
"By any other name............"
The phrase , attributed to Shakespeare I believe, that "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet", is open for debate. I have always thought that the choice of a name has more importance than some people seem to think. I do not know who gave the rose its name, but I cannot imagine it called by any other . Rose is beauty personified to my mind. Names evoke certain feelings, but does the name itself change according to the life experiences of each individual? It is a question to ponder, especially when faced with the momentous decision of naming an offspring. I realize that I might attach undue importance to this decision because I, for many years, did not care for the name given me at birth. I liked the shortened version, Pat, but I longed for the more patrician sounding Patricia, or Patrice, not my own Patsy, which I felt meant someone who would be a scapegoat . Someone who would be a sucker for anything. Not to even mention, (and I never told classmates and friends my middle name, because heaven forbid them being able to pronounce it correctly). The shame of remembering my mother tell how she found it in a Aldens catalog , fell in love with the name, and gave it to her first child lovingly. I always felt that I could have made a better choice for my kid . After all, to be stuck with something like that for life------Ugh! When did my mind change about my name? I started liking it about the same time I started liking myself. About the time I named my own children, and felt a sense of accomplishment in giving life and purpose to my own dear ones. I matured. I felt a new pride, not only in them but in myself. I became my own person, and in the process I liked who I became and even liked my name
I poured relentlessly over endless books of names for newborn babes and fretted for nine months with each one. No ultrasounds existed to determine the sex for sure, just the educated guess of the doctor if he was willing to wager a guess. The old wives tales were taken seriously to predict boy or girl by the way the pregnant mother was carrying them but just in case, a masculine name and a feminine name both had to be selected. Oh, how I agonized over those names! I liked the names ending in -a- for a girl. My rationale---I had studied Latin and the feminine ended with a's. Names that could be used for both sexes were too confusing, or so I thought. And on and on and on. Couldn't anyone see how important this choosing a name was? My laid-back husband felt he had already made his contribution and the rest was up to me. (This was during a generation when the macho male did not diaper or tend the babies.) He tried to lighten the situation by pretending to want his son named Axel or Penrod. My temeramental condition did not take this teasing lightly. When he said our daughter would be named Nivera Beta, I burst into tears and had to be consoled with a box of the white Turkish taffy that I craved. Nivera Beta, indeed!
Well, you might say as Shakespeare did so eloquently, "Much ado about nothing..........." and you are entitled to your opinion. But if you are ever at a loss when it comes to naming your children or grandchildren, just let me know and I will be glad to oblige. I have a huge store of unused names that I was saving for grandchildren that are not forthcoming. And I have found that couples selfishly want that privilege for themselves instead of allowing me to do it , when I am really so much better at naming than anyone else that I know.